1) First, Boring People Suck! Please don’t be Boring
Sometimes the best offense is a good defence. Look at it like the Hippocratic Oath of conversations: Do no harm. We’re all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think we’re just fascinating.
#1: Be brief, be positive.
If you’re always to the point and stay upbeat, it’s extremely hard for anyone to accuse you of being poor company. But sometimes you do need to speak a little longer to make sure things don’t get stiff.
#2: Is anyone asking you questions about what you’re saying?
If not, maybe it’s time to end the story or ask the other person a question.
2) The most Captivating People are often good listeners
Impressing people can be great but it can also transfer into status jockeying, one-upmanship and envy. People love to talk about themselves and there are a lot of good listeners. Let the other person talk. It gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money.
Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money…
You can make an excellent impression by saying amazingly little. Ironically, the people we like the most often say the least.
3) Talk About the other person’s interests (Learn how to listen like a hostage negotiator)
This is as straightforward as it gets. Why struggle to guess what most people might find generically interesting? Ask people what they’ve been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You’re now 80% of the way there. If you know about the subject the similarity will bond you. If you don’t, ask them to explain and be a great listener as they talk about something they love.
4) Have Three Good stories – ALWAYS!
Comedians don’t just talk about anything when they’re onstage. They have their act rehearsed. You don’t just trot into a job interview and say whatever’s on your mind. Always have three good stories on hand that reliably entertain, inform or engage.
Remember: People are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things.
Drama, gossip and reality TV are successful for a reason. We all find human behaviour fascinating. On the other hand, most people don’t want to hear about the features on your new iPhone.
5) Be the Charismatic influence others wish to be.
It’s not all about the words. Some people are engaging but if what they said was transcribed, it would be unimpressive. When you’re speaking emotionally, the words only account for 7% of what get conveyed.
Voice tone and body language are far more important.
Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture. Modulate your voice. Don’t just sweat the words.
6) Be Somewhere Interesting
If you have a say on the meeting venue… Pick someplace interesting or cool. Context matters.
In general, we’re lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from. Research shows excitement from any source is often associated with the person you’re with — even if they’re not the cause of it. Why do people find musicians so captivating? The music and the crowd stimulates emotions — and we associate those with the band.
7) Live an Interesting Life
If you want to be a knight, act like a knight. – Don Quixote
If you don’t read, watch and think about generic things, generic things are less likely to come out of your mouth. This doesn’t need to be expensive or difficult. Hang out more often with the most interesting people you know. People that have done stuff you dream of achieving. The friends you spend time with dramatically affect your behaviour — whether you like it or not.
In my Book – Taking your life to the next Leve – I refer to the Power of Association. Show me your friends and Ill show you your level of success and influence in the world.
The best and most reliable way to appear interesting is to live an interesting life.
And to pursue that ends up being far more rewarding than merely making a good impression on others.